you have an ocean inside you

tonight i went to yoga.  in the middle of it, we let go of our past.  sounds pretty great, right?  well, i suppose it's not possible to let go of it completely, but it's so wonderful to acknowledge that some of that stuff isn't a part of you anymore and it doesn't have to define or even affect you.

at the end, in savasana (the state of relaxation that comes after all the stretching and bending and twisting and opening), i felt complete and utter relaxation.  not only did i disconnect entirely from all the external stuff - the work and group members and worries and deadlines - that weigh me down daily, i even felt disconnected from my own body.  totally outside of it, no longer aware of its existence.  i could feel my connection with my deeper self, beneath and behind all the judgments (from myself and others) and bustle and surface stuff that runs over us in normal life.

i felt like the ocean, an expansive and eternal flowing of blue water, rising and falling like the tides with every breath, flowing far outside and beyond my simple body on the floor.  the truth is, we all have an ocean inside of us...a store of peace and joy and the fullness of ourselves, that swells and lives beneath all the bits and pieces of every day.  as i lay there on the floor, in the dark, breathing calmly, i felt the tension and tightness melt away from my bones and my muscles.  i feel like we hold this stuff inside us, we become stiff and rigid (even in our bodily postures) in an attempt to protect ourselves from the pushes and pulls of the world around us.  the stress winds itself around our muscles, making us inflexible and unadaptive to the flexes and forces of the world and the subway and the cold outside and the harsh personalities we encounter.

but, in those simple moments, when you massage your feet in the shower or feel your hair full and wet under the water or breathe deeply over a cup of hot tea or eat a piece of chocolate slowly or take a walk and watch the leaves fall effortlessly to the ground or lie and feel the ocean inside of you after a yoga class...it's easy to just release.  release!