Community

I was meditating today, with hundreds of other people, on Trafalgar Square, in a guided meditation led by Thich Nhat Hanh.  It was a beautiful experience.  The monks sang Namo Avalokiteshvara, which is like a gift from angels.  And Hanh guided us through about an hour meditation.

I've felt sad, for three years really, to be so far away from home -- from the friends and family that I love.  It's a feeling that's always there, even as I'm studying or doing things with friends here.  It's easy to feel alone.

During the meditation, so many memories came to me...sitting alone in my dorm room in the Hague, feeling out of place in my school at the Institute of Social Studies there.  Being upset and anxious with my groupmates last year at LSE.  Getting to go home for the holidays...and always having to come back.  Through it all, I have felt such a strong sense of separation.

But, as I continued to meditate, even with the tears streaming down my cheeks, as the monks continued to sing, I felt my heart lighten and my lips curl into a small smile.  The warmth and love of their singing (a song which is meant to be one of total compassion) reminded me of the importance of love and the constancy of family and friends in my life.  I suddenly felt that all of you are here with me.  I felt enveloped by a community that can never really go away or leave me alone.  It is ever-present.  Even as life attempts to cake over it, as new experiences build and leave their mark, always there is that community underneath it all, beyond anything else, within us.

I suddenly thought of the very kind girl at the Van Gogh museum in the Hague who gave me a print for free, because it was the last one and it was damaged and I loved it so very much.  Even strangers make up that community -- those who reach out to you.  Like the monks that were singing, radiating their kindness and good intentions to hundreds of people they don't know.

And of course, all those I hold dear, who live back in the US or in other parts of the world.  Thank you for your presence.  Thank you for just being you.