I am me

I just returned from a Dharma talk by Thich Nhat Hanh, one of my favorite Zen Buddhist writers.  His words were so powerful, because he spoke entirely from the heart and with such calmness and kindness in his voice.

As I sat there, many thoughts and ideas passed through my head, but two in particular stood out to me.  The first is that I became very aware that the 'me' I am now is still the same person as the 'me' that I was five or ten or fifteen years ago.  Sometimes, in challenging periods of life and trying circumstances, I feel like I've lost my former self, some peace and grace and skillfulness at life that I used to have.  It made me feel empowered, more whole, more alive to remember that I am still me -- the same me that was there in Raleigh, in Berkeley, in DC, in the Netherlands, and here in London.  There is a continuity of life, of ourselves, of our values and the things we hold really dear, that are constant, reliable, in spite of what might be occurring in the present.

The other thing that really dawned on me as I was listening is the huge importance of gratitude.  One of the things that he spoke about is that there is happiness available to us in the here and now.  I've understood and absorbed this message in the past...but somehow it's so easy to forget, like sand sliding through your fingers.  He spoke more specifically about the conditions of happiness.  He said, there are many conditions of happiness, many things that make us happy -- including our breath (because we are alive!) and our eyesight (because we can see colors and life in front of us!).  And, if we take a few minutes, he said, we could fill more than one page, more than two pages, many pages of the many conditions of happiness.  And, if we think about it, even if, as he said, we have "just lost our job," there are many, many people in the world in worse situations.  We do not need to wait, to look into the future, seeking out other conditions, in order to be happy.  There is happiness available to us in the here and now.  I think we see gratitude sometimes as a chore -- but really, it is something freeing.  It allows us to always see the beauty in life, even in the darkest times.

If all else fails, I hope I remember that Thich Nhat Hanh and his community are there in sitting meditation, creating the energy of compassion for all of us, thinking of all of us and our world -- and that gives me strength.  Not even your friends and family, but also so many other wonderful communities in the world are wishing for, praying for, and sending out intentions for your happiness and lessened suffering.

(you can view his talk here)